I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
All I want is dick and wine.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
