State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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