i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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