then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
