I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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