Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
