I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
