i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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