I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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