he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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