I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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