no, he came in my armpit
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
