oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Randomize
