he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Randomize