Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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