I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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