im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
