She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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