he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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