Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
