atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
