Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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