there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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