dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
