I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
