6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
where am i from again
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
i now understand why vodka
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
