Sry I called you an 8
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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