Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
