So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize