There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Randomize
