I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You may now shotgun with the bride
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
