All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Just pee around me
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
