Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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