can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize