he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize