i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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