I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
