Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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