How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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