remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Randomize
