that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
