just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
