Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
