Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
