No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
