I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize