I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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