sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
