For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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