He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
what day is it and did you see me today?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I currently don't understand fingers.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
