Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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