All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
