He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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