he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I have tasted many bathrooms
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
