Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize