And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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