I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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