Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
