Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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