she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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