rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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