my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
