maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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