ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
