I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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