he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
