She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
