you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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