capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
