these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
