Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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