She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
