dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
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